Disclaimer:  the author does not claim ownership to the characters or plot development mentioned from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Angel".  These properties expressly belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Greenwolf Corporation, 20th Century Fox Television, WB Network, etc.  Any other characters contained in the original story are the author's.

Historical Note:  The action in this story concurs with the action in my story, 'Angel, P.I.' which takes place shortly before "Expecting".

Author's note: One of my readers got obsessed with Cordy's POV in 'Angel, P.I.'.  I, frankly, hadn't given much thought to it, but when I did...  Wow.  Thanks, E, for the little shove and the suggestions...  This one's for you.  I hope it works.  e.c. 07 jul 00
 
 



ANGEL, PI (LOST)
by Evan Como







Actually file, Cordy.  Don't pretend.  R...  R...  R.... R...A... Pay attention.  She's laughing too much.  Way too much.  C'mon, lady.  He's gorgeous, but he's NOT funny.  That was NOT funny.  R...  R...  R...A...  Check you out, Angel!  All tranced and shit.  She's got you all the way sprung.  Oh, yeah.  You bougie vamp, you.  I know someone who's getting squeaky clean after this meeting.  R...  R... R...A... I said R.  I said R-A, G-G-M-O-P-P--

Oh no, she did not!  We have done some weird-ass stuff...

"A vampire?  Your husband is a vampire."

...  but NOTHING can top this one.  OK, Angel.  Mr. Nothing-Can-Surprise-Me-After-Two-Hundred-Plus-Years.  Admit it, you're surprised.

"Does that surprise you?"

"Yeah.  Yeah, it does."

"And you'd prefer not to take my case?"

Oh, c'mon, Angel.  Take it.  Take the case!  She's wearing friggin' MuuMuu sandals with the matching bag.  Cash!  Make her pay cash.  Paraffin pedicure, obviously.  No one's heels look that great.  You checked 'em out, too.  Probably does Thibiant once a week.  Ooooooh! And that's the BlueBox necklace I want.  The real platinum with diamond one, not the rinky dink sterling everyone-can-buy one.  The teeth.  You know she had those bad boys done by someone who KNEW what he was doing.  That body, though.  Pilates.  Something else.  She's not old, but...  Her ass is too firm and those tits are too high.  Something's been nipped and tucked.  Or something.  Really good job, though.  I could get the name for future reference.  And her salon.  Great red.

"Before you make up your mind, let me tell you about my relationship with my husband.  Avery and I met..."

Angel.  Angel.  Angel.  Angel.  Angel.  Why's he looking at me?  What'd I do?  Oh, good Cordy.  Just stand here scoping like the client just said she's married to a vampire.  He's looking...  weird.  Angel's looking weirder than usual.  He's not gonna take the case.  Dammit, Angel!  She can pay.  Big time.  What's a sangwadoor?

"...and it was love at first sight.  We got married the next day there in Cabo San Lucas.  It was romantic, really romantic.  So unexpected.  I just...   I miss him, Angel.  Anything you can do to find Avery...  ANYTHING. I can pay in cash; that's not a problem at all.  And--"

"I...  I...  Don't know.  I just, um..."

"He'll do it.  We'll take your case." Yeah, baby.  Look aliver, Angel.  Shake her hand?  Aw'ight.  Whatever.  We just got you a job and--  Wesley!  Who invited his ass?

"Wesley!  What's up?  Angel's with a client...who's just now leaving--  Thank you, SO much, Mrs. Franklin.  You'll be SO happy with the way we'll work your case.  Bye, bye!"  Wesley!  Ohmigod, you are such a dog!  And you probably don't even know what you're looking at.

"Hello, Angel."

"Wes.  I'm going to change and then I need you to take me over to Franklin's business, Cordelia.  That a problem?"

"No problem, Angel."  Shirt and a shower = 20.  "Twenty minutes or something?  Hey!  You realize now that we're a corporation you have to sign petty for what you take out."  Mmmmmmmm.  Yummy, yummy cash!  New bills.

"That was a new client?  She's lovely."

"Really?  I hadn't noticed.  OK.  I took fifty.  Write it up then come down in twenty."

Twenty five.  Maybe thirty-- Maybe I have time for the bank?

"And how are you today, Cordelia?  I just thought I'd pop in before I'm off to work to see what's going on.  Angel's in an odd mood.  Is he OK?"

You have NO fashion sense, whatsoever.  "What do you have on today, Wesley?  That outfit is so NOT working for you."

"Really?  I rather like it.  Although, I dare say, the thrift shop ensemble you've thrown together is a far more daring fashion concept than what I would dare go for."

Asswipe.  "Whatever, Wesley.  So, hey.  What's a Provider?" OK.  Got his attention.   He's putting it together.  2 + 2 = Meredith.  He's actually good at this stuff.  Dweeb!

"Um.  Provider?  I haven't heard that term in--"

"Stop stalling, Wesley.  She already admitted that's what she is.  Married to a vampire we gotta go find for her.  And a sangwadoor.  What's a sangwadoor?"

"San-GWEEN-e-door, Cordelia.  Um.  Married to a vampire, you say?  Well.  Married?  My.  You know, Angel can explain what a sanguinedor is if he wants you to know.  I don't feel it's my place to--"

"Hello?  My old hometown's the original Hellmouth!  Remember?  Stop trying to protect me 'cause you know I'll find out one way or another.  Don't make me read!"  Ooooooh.  THAT got him.  So afraid I might be smart.  Heh, heh.

Looking out the blinds for dramatic effect.  Good.  Where did he get that Grampa jacket?  He should have seriously stuck with black leather.  And he could pick up an IRON every once in the while.  And learn how to kiss.  Some days he's almost Sunnydale cute again. Oooop.  Pay attention, Cordy!

"...bars where various demons meet up with a human clientele.  Ummm.  It's all very, how to put it...  Casual.  Like instead of a vampire picking up a random victim on the street and taking their bounty, at a sanguinedor, he--or she--would meet up with someone who actually WANTS to offer their blood.  The only drawback is that the vampire cannot overindulge."

Slightly amusing.  Don't give it to him.  "So, no death?"  Thinks it passed right over your head.

"Well, there's not supposed to be.  There are, occasionally, accidents.  Most of the sanguinedors have strict chaperone policies to keep everything lively.  There are varying degrees of how far each participant wants to go and various types of sanguinedors for each of those degrees.  And once--say a vampire--begins to feed on offered goods, the violence ratio supposedly lessens.  The same can be said for other demons, as well, with whatever they need.  Less violence usually means a decreased opportunity for death."

"But why would a human being WANT to have their guts sucked out?"  That dimple is sooooo cute, especially when he gets all flushed like that.  Look at me, Wesley.  Lookey here.

"There's supposed to be a great deal of--  Well..."

"Just SAY it, Wesley."

"Sexual gratification, Cordelia.  It's a fetish.  And, from what I've read, very much about sex."

-0-

"Does your head still hurt?  If you think you're going to Vision, we can just go back to the office and wait it out.  We don't have to check out Franklin's business."

"'Cause it'll still be here tomorrow?"  Yeah, Angel.  Evasion tactics.  What's up with you and this case?  "What's up with you and this case?  It's like you didn't want to take it or something."

"I didn't want to take it.  If I remember right, you were the one who took it for me."

Technicality.  You know you wanted it.  "You know you wanted--  OWWWW!" This Vision is working my last nerve.  Come or go, but stop with the stand-by you PTB freaks.  "Don't freak, Angel. I'm still on stand-by.  Maybe they can't figure out what's going on themselves."

"It's not fair they do that.  You should either have the Vision or not."

That's sooooo sweet.  He's all pissed for me.  "You're all pissed, huh, Angel?  You should go tell the Oracles what you think about them making me suffer like this."

"OK. We're close.  I think.  Where are we at?"

Nuh-uh.  You're NOT getting out of this case.  "San Pedro near 4th.  Wino district.  Ewwwwww!  But we're going to Franklin's business--not to see the Oracles.  Got it?"  The dead has silenced.  Yeah, you got it alright.

"You always make me feel like I'm smuggling something when you huddle under the blanket like that, Angel.  One day we're gonna get pulled over and 5-oh is gonna wanna take a look at you.  And you're gonna go poof!  And then I'm gonna have to explain how I'm driving a car that's--"

"Just drive, Cordelia."

OK.  OK.  Just making conversation.  "You know, I was just making conversation, Angel.  Here.  We're here.  This is the building.  There's a..."  Where's the side entrance?  Alley?  Back here?  Shit!  Dead end.  Back up, slowly. "Get out of the way, hobo!  Move it!"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Angel.  The homeless bummy guys want me to run them over so they can cash in on the insurance payoff.  OUT OF MY WAY!"  Here it is.  "Here it is, Angel.  Nice and non-sunshiny."

"You'll come up, right?  Park the car and meet me in the lobby and we'll go up together, right?"

Wants to say 'please'.  You'll say please to me first, Angel.  "Say please."  Don't just sit there.  C'mon.  Say it.  Pah-leeeeeeeze, Cor--

"Please?"

"Of course, Angel.  I'll be right there."  Do that skulky thing.  Just shimmy open that door and pop right in.  Man, that is sooooo cool when he does that.  I wonder if I'd have to be undead to learn or can he teach me.  "Cordelia Chase.  Skulktress." Very cool.  "OUT OF MY WAY, CARDBOARD CHARLIE!"

-0-

Can't you figure out he doesn't want your raggedy stuff, girlfriend?  You and those Payless plastic pumps need to step off so you can stop hitting on him. This ain't no batting cage.

"He was sweet.  A really sweet guy to work for but not as good looking as your boss, Cordy.  He's a hottie."

"Angel? Yeah, I guess; but he's a cool boss.  Really flexible.  I'm an actress, you know, and he's really great about letting me have the time off for auditions and stuff--"  Me.  Me.  Pay attention to me, chick.  Stop looking at Angel.  With that long coat on you can't even see his ass so I don't know what you're checking out.

"You see anything unusual, Angel?"  Look at me.  There.  Cute little smiley smirk you do.  There.  Mine.  Aha.  She's jealous.  Neener, neener, neener--

"So, no one ever came by, Kimberly?  That you know of?  Maybe after hours when you weren't here?"

"No one.  Really, like I said, I was always the first one here and I locked up.  Mr. Franklin kept real hours, you know.  Kind of like 10 to 5-ish.  So whatever calls he got, whoever came by--  I would know all that kind of stuff."

"And Mrs. Franklin?  She called?  She came by?"

That is some rank body language.  She wants him soooooo bad.  I've seen those tits before.  And that ass.  Like Meredith Franklin's. Too round.  Too perky.  Way too perky.  This chick must be, like, what?  "So, Kim.  How old are you?"

"Cordelia.  I don't see where that's relevant."

She's smiling.  At him.  She thinks she's gonna--

"Oh, it's OK.  I'm 34.  Most people say I don't look it, you know..."

Demure shit.  Oh, no.  You are so not trying to be demure.  Angel is ignoring her ass and she's dying.  I bet he likes to unwrap the presents himself--not see it all on display and junk.  These cheap-ass T-shirts you guys make are just not working on you. "You look GREAT for 34!"  Sell it, Cordy.  "What's your secret?"

Angel knows.  Angel knows what's up.  Sideways glance. Look at me but don't look at me.  Yeah, boy.  We're here.

"I...  I, uh.  Provide.  Not often.  Just, well.  Sometimes.  NEVER with Avery, though.  But we met in one of the clubs and he, well.  He was nice.  He gave me this job and he was...  So, Angel.  Um.  You know.  If you ever--  You could have a taste."

RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?  Oh no she di'int.  How'd she know?  He fed so he's looking lifely.  And he's been doing the breathing thing. Regularly. Making real footsteps.  Being manly.  How'd she know? Watch his back.

"Which one?"

"I beg your pardon, Angel?"

"Which club did you meet at?"

Ew!  Is that a bite behind her knee?  That is skankatrocious!  She could cover that with pants or a longer skirt, you'd think.  He's pissed.  Pissed.  Why, Angel?  Pissed off. Defensive.  Backing away from her.  Stopped breathing.  Being vampey.  Eyes all dark.  She's...  LOVING IT.  And spilling her freakin' guts all over the place.  Go, boy!  You go, Angel!  She'd give it to him right here with me watching.  Because...  Ohmigod.  She wants US.  EW!  EW!

"Pulse.  In Culver City.  You've been there?"

Nasty skin.  Those tits and that ass.  Just like Meredith's.  Well, mine are real, girlfriend. The genuine 19 year-old thing.  Stop with the tired body language, Kimmy.  Gum-chewing, no class, cheap-shoe-wearing...

"Heard of it.  The club by the studio?

"Yeah, that's it."

She's coming on strong.  Mad-dog alert.  C'mon, Cordy.  Be fierce.  Max it!  Make her back away.  Backing away.  She's backing up.  Backing away.

"OK.  I think we're done here. Thanks.  You ready Cordelia?"

REJECTED!  "Yeah, Angel.  Let's go."  US.  Whoa, trip.

"Thanks.  You know.  For coming up."

"No problem, Angel."  She was gross.  Big dif between her and Meredith.  "Hey, so Angel..."  Lobby, guy.  OK.  "...like there's obviously a 'body type' or whatever, but how come Kimberly didn't look, well.  You know, she was kinda wrecked.  Really wrecked."

"Um.  I gotta go to this club, I guess.  What?"

You could pay attention for 8 floors, at least.  "You can't pay attention for eight floors, Angel?  This is a slow-ass elevator.  Anyway, I'll go with you. To the club?  You know.  And then--"

"No.  You don't have to do that.  This is a slow elevator.  But you would?  You know.  Go.  Because it'll be really weird.  REALLY weird.  But Pulse isn't too hard core.  But you don't have to go."

Get on, people or back off.  Every friggin' floor?  "It's cool, Angel.  It's like a real club, right?  Or are people chowing down on the dance floor, or something?  'Cause that just wouldn't be cool."  Made you laugh!

"No, Cordelia.  They don't chow down on the dance floor.  They just.  I dunno.  It's just weird.  A little.  But.  You sure?  Because you don't have to."

Cool.  "Cool, Angel.  No.  I'll go.  If it'll help.  Cause you seem like you don't really want--OK, PEOPLE!  WOULD ONE FLIGHT OF STAIRS KILL YOU?"  Said that out loud, didn't I?  Ooopsy! "The car's just across the street.  I'll be right back, OK?  And, we'll go tonight.  It'll be an experience.  OK?"

-0-

"So then she's like so totally rejected, Phantom Dennis, you wouldn't believe it!  She was probably all crying after we left.  And Angel was great!  He did the whole demon thing on her.  Got her all hot and she thought she was gonna hit that stuff!  Hey!  Get the door.  That's Angel.  If you don't get it right away he's gonna bolt.  Just one more coat of mascara..."

3.  TA DA!  3 coat night.  Cordy!  Girl!  2--please ask me to dance.  3--back off, troll!

"Dennis.  I told you, I'm wearing this dress.  Put that one back. NO!  Go wait with Angel in case he tries to leave or something.  STOP IT!  I told you I'm wearing this one!"

"You look.  Nice."

"Yeah, I should, Angel.  I can't believe it!  The same freaking fabric?  Out of a million black shirts you own you decided you were going to wear dark purple stretchy velvet?"

"Aubergine."

Yeah.  Frenchy.  "Yeah, Angel.  I have to go change."

"No.  I'll--"

Make him realize how stupid that comment was going to be.  Now huff and turn away.  Leave him feeling bad. Poor baby.

"Gimme that!"  I didn't want to wear this dress.  I can't wear a bra with this dress and I have to wear a thong.  Shit.  I could do Band-Aids.  But I can't wear a liner.  Oh, hell.  "It's a demon club, right?  It's not like anything is going to happen, right?  And, for God's sake I'm going with the original eunuch.  Turn around, Dennis.  At least I can still wear these shoes."  Oh, it looks OK.  The Stila looked better with the purple, though.  More blush?  Wrong necklace.  Trash the necklace.  Here.  Just wear the rings.  And this bag...

"You know, Cordelia--  We don't have to do this.  You don't have to come with me.  I can go by my--"

"Self?  You know you're not going to go, Angel, so stop trying to get out of this.  We'll go.  You'll get information.  We'll leave.  And then there's this really cool club we can get in by the Airport.  You know.  Hang out with normal folks."  Maybe Serena'll be there--

"But I'm not normal."

Duh!  "Duh, Angel!  But you pass for normal when you want to.  You're good at normal.  Better at normal than Wesley."  Ohmigod, you look GREAT in that color. Wilson would never be able to pull of velvet.  I should go put mine back on.  They'd eat us alive.  EW! OK.  Leave this one on.

"You look great, by the way."  Just say thank you.  Thank you.  Thaaaaank yooooouuuuu, Cord--

"Thanks."

Cute dumbshit look you do.  You are such a dumbass, Angel.  "Don't I look pretty?"  Yes.  Yes.  Yeeeeeeessssss, Cord--

"Yeah.  The other dress was...  It was better.  I think.  This is a nice dress, though.  I like the...  Navy?  Is it navy?"

"C'mon, Angel.  Let's go.  Don't wait up, Dennis!"

"Why'd you tell him that?"

Sheesh, Angel.  "Sheesh, Angel!  Stop wigging out.  Let's just go.  We'll dance..."

"I don't dance.  This just really isn't a good idea.  Maybe I'll go check it out some other night. "

Yeah, right.  Like never.  "Yeah, right.  Like never?  We'll go, Angel, and we'll get some information.  Tonight."

-0-

"Look, Angel.  I live with a ghost.  I deal with demon stuff every day.  I have visions for a demon god empire because a half-demon cutie got all slobbery with me and I work for a vampire.  Then to top it all off, I'm poor.  If you go down that list, you'll notice I mentioned the word 'demon' like a hundred times.  OK, maybe NOT a hundred but way alot more than just once.  Now if I could change any of it, I'd really like to be able to buy something that's NOT on sale.  So, seriously, going to a body snack bar is no big."

"You just don't understand."

Yeah.  Yeah.  What I do understand is we just cut the front of the line because you are one gorgeous mo.  Wear that aura, Angel!  Bring out the evil one.  Well, not all of him.  Just a little.  You know the black-silk-shirt-leather-pant-wearing part.  Walk like you can swing it, Angel.  "Work it, Angel!  Ohmigod.  You sooooo own this place!"  C'mon!  EW.  80's night.  "EW.  80's night."  Get over it people!  Things!  Whatever you are!  He's not--

"Angel!  Don't talk to yourself.  It's embarrassing and no one's gonna want to talk to a loon."

OK. 1 minute into the club and he's freaking out.  Pull him over here...  "Angel.  What's wrong?"  Look at me.  Look at me.  Loooooook aaaaat... "Look at me, Angel.  What's wrong.  You're scaring me."

"I shouldn't be here.  I..."

"You what?  The music?  You hate 80's, too?  Who names a band Caja Goo Goo?  What the hell does that mean, right?"  Laugh, Cordy.  Make him laugh. Pull him out of this.  Pull him...  Nose dive.  Shit!  "Angel!  If you go all psycho on me-- I'm not going to be in this club all by myself.  You said we don't separate, remember?  Angel!"  Pull him out of this...  Oh. He's not going to freakin' cry.   "Angel!  I didn't smack you that hard."

Heavy breathing now.  What does that mean?  "You're breathing, Angel.  What does that mean?  You're--"  Ohmigod!  Look at these vultures.  All circling and shit.  Ohmigod!  "The people, Angel.  They're freaking you out?"  Oooooh!  OK.  What are you doing in my hair?  "What are you doing in my hair?  Angel, get up!"

"They want...  Your hair smells nice."

"Thanks, Angel.  Your face is in...  OH.  OK.  You're smelling things.  OK.  I get it.  You're smelling things.  People.  It's freaking you out?"  Stop playing with my curls you goofball or my 'do'll be wrecked.  We're still going to the Airport after this, whether you like it or not. "Angel!  You're acting like my Uncle Dan at an open bar."

"Freaking me out is an understatement.  I need to go.  I'm not prepared.  I should have.  I shouldn't be here.  It's...  not.  I.  So, is this a mousse or is it your finishing spritz?"

"It's a club, not Aveeda, Angel.  Angel.  Let's go sit down and you can just chill for a couple of minutes.  Get used to it.  And if you still feel wiggy, then we'll go.  OK?  But you need to give it a chance.  Alright?  Just remember we're on a case.  Put your fangs on retract and let's focus."  And let's unbutton these cuffs and these bottom three buttons.  Great navel.  I wonder if he could get a navel piercing.  It's not like he'd have to worry about an infection or anything.  "You ever think about getting your navel pierced, Angel?"

"You're undressing me."

"I'm so not undressing you.  Here.  I'm making you look more comfortable.  You never wear your cuffs buttoned."

"You shouldn't undress me.

"Angel.  C'mon.  Look at me."  C'mon.  C'mon. Pretty baby browns.  Focusing. He wants to go?  "You don't wanna go, do you?  It's gonna be OK, Angel.  Role-playing, right?  You're the private eye investigating a missing husband.  Looking for information..." I confused him.  Shit.

"That is why I'm here."

"Yeah, Angel.  We know that but they don't know that.  So act that part."

"But, I don't have to act.  We should go.  We'll go.  Go.  Let's go.  Go. Go.   Go...."

"Bouncing your head against the wall isn't any better than talking to yourself,  Angel.  Let's go mingle so you can stop channeling Norman Bates."

"Undressing me was not a good thing, Cordelia."

"GUY, Angel.  Get over it, already!  It's not like you're naked." Mmmmmm.  No wonder you got your ass bit.  "Let's mess up the collar a little."  Check out that neck.  "Show some neck..."

"You don't understand."

Whisper me...  "Lean off, Angel.  It's not gonna be that bad.   Let's just go find some evilies to chat up and you'll be alright." Hey.  Eyelashes.  "Stop tickling!"  They're nice.  They feel nice.  He feels nice.  Bet he'd feel good on.

"Cordelia?"

They can't stop staring at him.  Us.  "Yeah, Angel?"  OK.  Pushing up the tall, dark and yummy vampire...

"I'm not good at chatting."

Yeah. Trying to get through this crowd and he closes his freakin' eyes.  Man!  OK.  Booth.  Booth.  There's one.  Over there.  OK.  Stay attached at his wrist and I don't believe these things here.  They all want a piece of him.  Don't come near me, FreakBoy!  "BACK OFF!"  OK.  Still got it Cordy.  OK.  Ooooooh.  Too close to the speakers.  Let's go...  Over there.  That's good.  The one guy in the world who won't friggin' burn out after the entrance and he's a nutjob vampire.  All night they're gonna stare at us.  Him.  Well, once I get my act in gear.  Us.  Start working your shit, Cordy or he'll burn your ass out.  Cordelia Chase does not burn out before the night is over.  We are going to be so hot at the Airport.  Emily'll be soooo jealous.

Move.  Asshole.  Get your ass up and move.  Stare at it, Cordy.  Give him eye.  Posture.  Stare.  It's not working.  C'mon.  A little out of practice--

"What's wrong, Queen C?  Lost your touch?"

"OK, Angel.  You done making your tired joke?  Because it's a fine time for you to return from the land of the Lost-My-Mind.  Don't worry, I can do this.  And get out of my hair!"

"It smells so pretty.  You smell pretty.  Make him know you smell pretty.  Make him know he wants to smell you."

"That's disgusting, Angel."  Kinda.  "Vampire?  Am I trying to psyche out a vamp?"

"Human.  Provider.  He's just ordinary.  But you can't do him.  You can't make him move."

"Don't taunt me, Angel.  He'll move."  He better move.

"No words. You can't talk to him.  You never used to have to say a word.  Just look at him, C.  Watch him and make him know.  You used to be able to do that..."

"How do you know what I used to be able to do?"

"...but you can't do it now.  You've lost your touch.  But you used to know.  You used to know how to move the world, C.  Without a word.  Your hair smells great."

I can do this.  Stare him.  NO.  That's wrong.  Not stare.  You don't stare.  You...  That.  Attitude.  "Angel!  You're trashing my concentration!"

"You never used to have to concentrate. It just came.  You were a natural, C.  I think your ends are splitting.  Don't you use a diffuser?"

Attitude.  Fuck him.  And the Kia he drove up in.  Fuck you and get out of our seat.

"Are you doing it?"

"Why aren't you watching if you want to know so bad, Angel?"

"Because he'll move for me.  This room will move for me.  Make it move for you.  Remember how you used to make the world move for you, C?  Be worthy."

"Worthy?  Worthy of what, Angel?"

"Make him want you and make him move.  And don't say a goddam word.  Like that.  You're back, C.  And it was easy, huh?  Just like that.  It all came back."

"It was never gone, Angel."  Just misplaced.  "Hey, Angel.  Stop calling me C."

-0-

These freaks are soooo cruising him.  No shame.  "These freaks have no shame.  C'mon, Angel.  Get your happy ass into gear because I'm not going to let you go crawl behind the bar or something."  You knew what you were doing when you wore that aubergine shirt.  Don't sit like that.  "Don't sit like that, Angel.  It looks uncomfortable."

"Are they watching?"

"Pfffffff! Are they watching.  They are so on your shit, Angel.  And you need to start talking to them."

"They don't want to talk to me, C.  They want.  Other things.  Stuff.  They want."

"Futurama calling Jurassic Angel.  HELLO!  Come out of the stone age and give me sentences."  OK.  Fine.  Sit there with your head all back.  Yeah, give 'em throat, Angel.  "Stop playing with my hair, Angel!  Ow!  You're pulling and it's hurting my scalp."

"You need better conditioner.  It'll make your roots stronger."

"You are--"

"Are you shopping for him?  Or for yourself?"

Ohmigod.  This woman is such a double-bagger.  Look sharp, C.  CORDY!  Dammit, Angel.  "Information.  First.  And then we'll go from there."  Yes!  It worked.  Right on!

"C."

He is NOT laughing at me.  "Are you laughing at me, Angel?"

"You are soooooo cute!  Information.  First.  You go, C."

"Stop calling me C."

"Yes, your highness."

"He's beautiful.  And you're his Provider?  Because I'm looking for an arrangement.  Perhaps if I have the information you need?"

"What kind of arrangement?"  Cordy!  Arrangement my ass.  OK. So you're curious.  Admit it.  Stupid Angel.  He should be doing this anyway.  Why is she smiling like that?  Attitude, C--  "Avery Franklin. A vamp named Avery Franklin. Been trying to locate him for about a month."

"Hmmmmmm.  Avery.  Probably staked somewhere.  But, I wouldn't know for certain.  He hasn't been around here in a month or so.  He likes Laurel Canyon better."

"La--" OW!  Angel!  You don't have to pinch my thigh so hard! OW!  "So he goes there more often?"  OK.  You can take it off now.  Or move it.  Higher.  Shit.  Angel.  "Excuse me."

"Move your hand, Angel!"

"Let them talk, C.  They need what you have.  Let them talk.  Don't ask questions.  She'll tell you where it is if you're special enough."

"You should be doing this.  I'm just your pretend date, remember?"

"Did your almost Vision go away?  I forgot to ask.  That was rude of me.  You feel OK?"

"Yeah, Angel."  Oh, man.  I love the fingertips thing on the temples.  "No Vision.  All gone."

"C.  C."

"What, Angel?"

"Open your eyes."

Where was I?  Right.  Shake it off.  Interrogation city.  "I guess I should be getting back to our guest speaker, huh?  So, I'll be cool and you'll keep your hand off my leg."

"Do you want me to?"

No.  "Yes."  Did I just say yes or no?

"OK, C.  Just get back to work."

-0-

Bass goes boom-boom-boom!

"So, Cordy.  Right?  Like I was saying, Avery..."

Sound system ROCKS!  This beat will make the dead breathe!  Well, maybe not.  This guy looks pretty dead.  Naw, he's live.  So, like, EW!  I guess I should be listening...

"...because he can't dial his habits down so Laurel Canyon is more his speed."

"And you think we'd like Laurel Canyon?  Is the music better there?  At least they stopped with the 80's."

"I don't think your friend has a problem with the music here."

Oh, yeah.  Right.  Like Angel.  OHMIGOD.  ANGEL!  Where the...  Spotlight turning around and back...  Around and back...  Around and...  You do not have your hand down your pants, you freak!  Oh. OK.  Not your hand.  But, still.  Two fingers? Angel!  "Excuse me, Todd."

"Angel!  What are you doing?"

"Knew.  You were.  Looking.  For..."

Angel.  Where are you?  "Angel!  Angel!  Come back."  Oh, man.  Are you even wearing any underwear?  That is the nastiest thing I've ever seen in my life.  OK.  Stop freaking out, Cordy.  It's not like he's actually got his hands touching his... But he's got those long fingers and you know he's touching something.  Let's get him back, Cordy.

"...but, you know, Avery is like this total hard core who you can't tell him anything.  He hurt a couple in Tarzana once, twice so they banned him out there and..."

Round and back and round and back and--  "Angel!  Angel!" They're watching.  Everyone is watching.

"C."

"Yeah, Angel."

"You watching this?"

"Yeah, Angel.  I'm watching.  Everyone's watching, Angel."

"Destination.  Milky Way tonight.  Were looking for..."

"What you feeling, Angel?  Because I don't think you should be doing whatever you're doing here.  You know?"  You wouldn't NOT have on any underwear, right?  As if I'm the only person thinking that.

"Quite peculiar.  Shimmering.  White..."

"...and then they kicked him out of--  Sophie!  Avery Franklin.  What was that one club they kicked his ass out of for almost taking out those twins?  Hey, Sami, you remember?  Yeah, Sami knows.  This is Cordy.  She's looking for that vamp Avery.  Cordy!  Cordy.  Talk to Sami.  Sami knows!  Cordy..."

"He looks familiar.  He looks like--  Paul!  This vamp over here.  Paul!"

"Yeah, Sami.  Hey, love.  Sugar me!  Sophie!  Todd!  Oh my GOD!  You guys!  I haven't seen you guys in, like, forever!  Where's Kimmy?"

"Paul!  This vamp.  You recognize him?"

"Angel.  Angel."  Shirt's all open and--  Angel.  "Angel!"

"Despite.  Fascination.  Under.  Way tonight.  C?"

"Yeah, Angel."

"Who are all these people?"

"They're your audience, Angel.  They've come to watch you put your fingers down your pants and play with my hair."

"Is that what I've been doing?  C?  C'mere.  Closer.  Here."

Who blows on somebody's eyes?  Shit.  Angel.  Focus, Cordy.  "Angel.  You just blew on my eyes.  Why'd you do that?"

"Because I had a breath in me.  I don't breathe, you know.  Sometimes.  I had you in me.  I gave you back.  Hm?  Too many of them, C.  Make them go away."

"...her before.  Have you?  Sami!  Sami!"

"Stopit, Todd!  Stopit!  What, Paul?"

"They're talking to me, Angel.  We're talking."

"I'll talk to you.  But they have to go.  I wanna talk.  No one ever wants to talk.  They just.  But you'll talk.  Huh, C?  You'll talk to me.  You always talk to me.  But I never listen--"

"This girl.  With Kimmy's hard-on.  You seen her before?"

"No.  Does she only do him?"

"I don't think she 'does' yet.  He should hold off, let her grow into her beauty a little.  She looks a little young."

"Whatever, Paul. You game?  'Cause I need a bite and I'm sooooo over this place already."

"Provided last night, love.  Ask Sophie.  Maybe Kimmy'll be here later if you wanna wait for her.  I don't think he's gonna be in the mood for her after..."

"Make them go, C.  Have another breath.  See?  That feels good.  Hm?  Doyle said you'd humanize me.  I'm so happy you stayed.  Are you happy you stayed?  You shouldn't be here.  But I'm happy you're here.  But you shouldn't be.  My chin itches.  I never thanked you for staying."

"Thanks for letting me, Angel."  Calm down.  "Here Angel.  Calm down.  Shhhhhhh.  Just relax, OK?  Here.  Shhhhhhh.  Just lemme talk to these--  You met Kim before?  Redondo Beach?"

"Only went there once.  Last July.  Didn't stay.  Don't want to stay here.  I never say thank you.  Huh?  I just ignore you and one day you're not going to be there anymore and--  There's not going to be anyone to scratch my chin.  And talk to me.  Make them go and talk to me, C.  Tell me stuff.  Be noisy just for me.  OK?  One day you'll be gone and it'll be quiet again outside.  And I'll miss you talking all the time.  You're so nice you stayed.  Even though I know I can't keep you.  Here.  My chin itches."

"Here, I'll scratch you, Angel.  Just stop blowing in my eyes.  And relax, OK?  I'll talk to you but I have to listen to them about the case.  OK?  So here.  Just put your head here and try to block them out, OK?  I'll scratch." Sniff my hair, Angel. "You sniff."  Sniff it all you want because I plan on sniffing those fingers later on.

-0-

"This place is just like being at a costume party where everyone is a featured creature." Ohmigod.  These women are so freakin' gorgeous.

"They like it when you laugh, Angel. Everyone wants to make you laugh." Who has bodies like these?  Look at the texture of her skin.  Not that she really needs to show every single last bit of it.  Her dress is hanging by her freakin' nips.  What am I talking about?  My dress is hanging by my freakin' nips.  I should have used Band-Aids.

"Feeders.  Providers.  Feeder.  Feeder.  Provider.  Can you tell yet?  Like her?"

"Feeder?"

"Why?"

"I don't know.  I just guessed.  You look sleepy, Angel.  You about to go into Brood-mode?"

"Good guess.  No.  Not broody.  Not.  You look sleepy, too.  What about him?"

"Feeder?" Keep shaking it off, Cordy.

"Hmmmm.  More feeders here.  Usually more providers.  Mh.  You look really sleepy. We should go before you fall.  I feel.  Mh?"

Breath too deep.  "Angel. ANGEL!  Where're you going?  What's wrong? Don't leave me! Slow down, Angel!  Slow--"  Keep your hands off of me, creep!  Back off!  Back--  "Angel!  Don't let these freaks paw all over you!  Show some respect for yourself!" Ohmigod.  Work that shirt like an extra pair of hands!

"C'mere.  Dance for me."

What?  "What?  You're like seriously on the pipe, right Angel?"

"We're standing on the dance floor and the music is playing and you should be dancing.  You're young.  You should dance.  Dance for me."

"You dance for me."

"I don't dance."

"You slow dance.  I know you slow dance."

"But this is fast. I don't dance fast.  Like this.  Mh?"

Shit.  Not Office Angel.  "Angel!  Stay here.  Angel!  Come on!  You're doing good.  We're getting information.  They like what you're giving them and we're getting good infor--"

"Cordelia."

"No.  C'mon, Angel.  C.  Call me C.  Don't..."  Shit!  Don't do this.  Cordy!  Do something.  Do...  Dance.  Dance for him.  Here.  Here, Angel.  "Here, Angel.  Look.  Look at me.  Look at me, Angel."  OK.  Focusing.  Losing him.  Shit.  He's about a second away from flipping out.  What happened?  "ANGEL!  What's wrong?"

"I want.  Things.  Feel.  Stuff.  Want.  Don't let me want, Cordelia.  Don't let me want.  Stuff."

OK.  Hug him.  Big hug.  "OK, Angel.  Here. Big hug, OK?" Mmmmmmmm.  Shit.  Got his nose all on my neck.  Back off Cordy.  Shit.  OK. Stop dancing, Cordy.  Stop dancing.  Shit.

"Your hair.  Smells soooooo good."

"I know, Angel.  You keep telling me."  Stop dancing, Cordy.  Just hug.  Just hug.  "OK."  Fingers are amazing.  Don't bite me, Angel.  Don't bite me.  Just that.  Touch my neck.  Hair.  Cheek.  Cheeky.  Throat.  Don't bite me.  Don't let him bite you, Cordy.  Touch me.  Touchy.  Stop dancing.  Stop.  "Oh."

Where'd he go again?  "ANGEL!"  Angel.  Where'd you go?  I hate that disappearing non-man act.  "ANGEL!"  Move, out of the way!  "Move out of my way, biatch!  ANGEL!  AN--"

Shit.  "I think you need to back away from my vampire."

"Yours?  Finders keepers."

"Angel.  Come on.  Angel."  She'll take you down.  Easy, Cordy.  Don't let her know that.  Angel is yours.  Yours.  Attitude.  Make her know.  Attitude.  "Angel.  Come on." Take my hand, dammit.  Stop trancing, Angel.  Come.  On.  She'll fucking kill me in a heart beat.  Attitude, C.  Attitude.  Back off.  BIATCH.  Back off.  MINE.  He's MINE.  Back.  Off.  Breathe.  'Tude.  Breathe.  'Tude.  Basketcase Angel.  'Tude.

Show down.  You remember this shit, C.

...

...

...

MINE.

...

...

...

I MEAN IT.  MINE.  THAT'S RIGHT.  MINE.  MINE.  MINE.  MINE.  The one flipping thing I've got in the entire world and you can't have it.  No one is taking this away from me.  BIATCH.

...

...

Try it.

...

...

...

...

"C."

"Yeah, Angel.  She's gone.  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  YOU TOLD ME WE WEREN'T GOING TO SEPARATE!  So why'd you run off?"

"Sorry."

"Nuh-uh.  Not sorry.  SORRY IS SO NOT ACCEPTABLE, ANGEL!  You.  Me.  Together.  Not you over HERE and me trying to figure out where your ass ran off to.  You got that?  Huh?  So.  Why'd you run off?"  Oh.  No.  Making nice with the fingers isn't going to smooth this o--  Fuck.  Me.  "Whassup, Angel?  You wanna bite me?  Is that why you ran?"  What?  "Oh!"

Don't let him bite you, Cordy.  What?  "What, Angel?  Uhhhhh.  What?"  What's he saying?  Your hair smells good, too.  "Your hair smells good, too, Angel.  Soft and springy.  I like--  Don't bite me.  You trying to bite me, Angel?  'Cause that is so not cool.  Wait."  What? " What?  Lemme smell." Mmmmmmmm.  April freshness.  Lemme taste.  "Taste mine--"  Mmmmmmm.  Perfect, perfect teethy, here, here, move here...  What?  Don't bite me.  What are your teeth--  "What are you doing with your teeth, Angel?  What?"  What?  Teethy, teethy, fingies.  What?  What?  "What?" Velvet.  Mmmmmmm.  Velvety richness.  Reachy, reachy, rubby, velvety, teethy--

"C.  Slow down.  C..."

Can't slow.  Won't slow.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  Necky.  "I like your neck, Angel."  Lemme bite.  "Lemme bite.  Mmmmmmmm.  You like my bite?"  Reachy, reachy, fingies, teethy, what?

"Here.  Move here them here, C.  Slow down.  Wait.  Not here.  The chaperones.  I want--"

Fingies, fingies.  Softy, softy.  "What?  Angel?"  What?  "Ooooooh."  Waisty.  Hands on my waisty.  Feeley waisty.  Teethy.  Mouthy.  I like your mouth.  No slobber. "Angel.  Your mouth.  Move."  Here.  Move.  "I.  Like.  Here."

"Hm?  C.  Slow down.  Slow--"

Good song.  Slow.  Me.  "Slow."  Me.  Slowey, slowey.  Grind me.  Want grindy.  "Angel.  Ummmmm.  Angel.  Dance with me."

"C.  Want--"

What?  What?  Teethy, teethy, teethy, dancey, dancey.  "What, Angel? You wanna be all on my throat or something?"

"Not on your throat, C."

What?  What, Angel?  "Here."  Rubby, facey, velvety, velvety, warmy, warm.  Cozy.  Snuggly.  Downey.  Snuggly.  Velvet topping.  "What?  Here.  Move hands here.  There.  There.  Like--"  That.  Solid.  Mmmmmmmm.  Those aren't little boy hands.  Nuh-uh.  "You're no little boy, are you, Angel?"  Little boys too little little boys.  Nothing little.  Nothing--

"You feel--  What soap do you use?  It tastes--  Your hair.  What the fuck do you use on your HAIR!  C.  Stop.  Stop.  Slow.  I want--"

"What?  Angel?  Uhhhhh!  Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh--"  What?  "What do you want, Angel?"  What?  "Want?"

"...not on your throat, C.  Down it."

"Ahhhhhhnge--" ge-st my throat...

"Cordelia? Cordelia?"

-0-

Cool wind in my hair...  I better be in Angel's car with Angel...  Opening one eye and.  Verified.  Two blocks.  Home.  Shit.  I wanted to go to the Airport.  Just sit here and get yourself back together and try to pretend you did not black out when he said--  OK. Don't think about what he said because you're going to freakin' flashback.  Must have carried you to the car.  Remember that?  Carrying--  Nope.  But he must have.  He knows you're awake.  You know that.  He knows you know that.  Just sit here.  Fuck.  Every nerve I've got is on end.  All he said was--  OK. Don't think about what he said, Cordy.  Put your hand on my thigh, Angel.  C'mon.  Mind read me.  Put your hand...  He's not gonna touch you anymore.  He's himself again.  Probably flippin' out.  If he remembers what he did.  Which he probably doesn't or maybe he'll remember it tomorrow or something.  When his soul rewinds or whatever the hell he does.  Shit.  Hold it.  Hold...  Hold...

"Cordelia?"

Just sit here for a second, Cordy.  Breathe.  Calm down.  Mmmmmmm.   He could lean over and put one arm on the seat and the other around your waist again and then lean over again and not breathe on you again and then just...  What?  NO.  Touch your neck again.  And your hair.  Smell my hair again.  Smell me.  I know you smell me, Angel.  What you did to me!  Look at me.  I wonder if he's looking at me.  Hold very still and just let him look at you, Cordy.  Your hair probably looks like shit, but imagine it's a beautiful piece of shit.  Movie-star shit-looking.  Yeah. That's it.  Sell it, Cordy.  Bed head.  Take-me-to-bed head.  Make him look at you and wonder what you're thinking and...

"I can carry you up if you need me to."

When'd he open my car door?  Let him carry you.  Let him--  Yeah.  Let him carry you. THAT'S why you're getting out on your own.  Dimwit.

"Thanks for--  I appreciate your--.  For going to the club with me.  I'm sorry.  You know.  I should have never forced you to go with me.  I'm sorry.  Really."

"Angel."  Is he for real?  Hello?  "Hello?  You didn't force me to go with you." Just open the door, Cordy.  Call it a night and go flashback in bed.  Hell.  Let Dennis watch.

"I'm just so sorry.  Cordelia.  This is all my fault.  I should have explained it a little more, but I set you up and so.  I'm just sorry.  Really."

"Stop apologizing, Angel.  It was--  An experience.  Remember I knew it was going to be an experience.  I had a friggin' wild experience tonight that I'll never forget.  So.  We can do the usual.  Pretend that nothing really strange happened and that this is all basic business as normal kinda whatever it was that happened.  You know.  For the case."  KISS ME!  "And, you don't want to kiss me?"

"I..."

Fingers through my hair, Angel.  Fingers in my hair.  Lean forward.  Smell my hair.  Remember what you were doing all night.  Here.  Remember.  Me.  M's.  Making M's on my face.  Forehead.  Cheeks.  Jaw.  Move to my ear.  My ear, Angel.  M my ear.  M.  Me.  M & M me.  Make me melt.  Don't slip, Cordy.  Stay here.  In the moment, Cordy.  "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Shhhhhhhh.  Don't do that.  OK. M, Angel.  Where'd he learn how to do that?  Never been M'd before in my life.  Lips.  Oh.  Not my nose.  Not my eyes.  Go back to lips.  Lips, Angel.  Hold me.  Hold me.  Do something other than that spiderleggy thing you're doing with your fingers on my shoulders.  It's good.  Don't get me-- "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh." Shhhhhhhhhhhh, Cordy.  Little grabby touches on my shoulders.  Take off my strap, Angel.  Slide off my strap.  C'mon.  Stop moving, Cordy.  Oh, he likes you breathing on him.  No noises.  Just breathe on him.

"Hm?"

That was him, right?  Yeah.  Kiss me.  Kiss me.  Kiss me.  Kiss me.  The M's are good.  See if you can back him up, Cordy.  Move him.  Move him.  He won't go.  He's just...  Here.  See if you can pull his leg forward.  Just a little.  Just a--  OK.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.  I wanna fucking scream.  Breathe, pull...  Panting.  OK.  That works for him.  Him, too.  He's inhaling.  This is some weird shit.  2-50-year old probably screwed everything at least twice in his life going virginal on me and I can't get his leg--

There.  OK.  Out.  Ease up on him, Cordy.  Fucking kiss me already, Angel!  Not all of us are immortal here.  OK.  OK.  Ease up.  Easy.  Easy.  Slow down.  Slow down.  Slow.  OK.  See if he'll...  Little lick.  OK.  Back off.

"Hm?"

OK.  Try it again.  Little one.  Slightly.  Exhale.  Inhale.  Little lick.  Ease in to him.  Shhhhhhhhhhhh.  OK.  Try it again.  Slow.  Slow.  Same way.  OHMIGOD.  His dick is hard as a rock.  Shit, Cordy.  Slow down.  Focus, girl.  Back him up.  See if you can back him up.  Go, Angel.  Back.  Back. Against the door.  Back...  ing... Up.  OK.

"Hm?"

Shhhhhhhhh.  He's freaking out.  Shhhhhhhhhhh.  Let him just do this on his own.  Be here all fucking night until dawn before he kisses you at this rate.  OK.  Settle down, Angel.  Slide him down a little.  Slide down the door, Angel.  Like that.  Not too much.  Open up.  Just a little.  Part them... OK.  OK.  Oh, man.  He can use his tongue.  Little lickey motions are tearing me up.  Stay focused, Cordy.  Move in.  Easy.  Easy. OK. OK. Pelvic contact.  AND THAT FUCKING DICK IS SO FUCKING HARD!  Don't move.  Let him...  Start.  Shhhhhhhhh.  Close your eyes, Angel.  Just...  Close...  Your...  OK.  Whatever you want to do.  Whatever.  Shhhhhhhhhhh.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh.  Angel."

"Hm?"

"Shhhhhhhhhhh.  Kiss me.  Angel.  Kiss me."

"Hm?"

OK.  He's starting to move. A little.  A little.  With him, Cordy.  Over his leg a little.  Just a little.  He knows already.  Don't have to send up a flare.  OK.  He's...  Shhhhhhhh.  Stop.  Easy.  Let him...  Reach...  Let him...  He... He's not sure.  He's still not sure.

"Angel. Why'd you stop?"  Shhhhhhh.  Keep him forcused, Cordy.  Here.  Make him look at you.  Look.  "Angel." Look.  Here.  Look at me.  "Angel?"

"We shouldn't be.  This."

"Doing this?  Right?  I know."  Sympathy, Cordy.  C'mon.  Stroke his arm.  Soft.  Soft.  Here.  Velvety soft.  Weave your fingers.  OK.  Maybe not.  Ok.  Let  him--  "But it feels good, right?  I don't feel good?"

"You feel.  We feel wrong?"

Yeah, if it feels so wrong then you wouldn't keep--  Liking his fingers kissed.  OK.  Nibble a nail.  Taste just like my hair smells.  Just--  "Angel.  Not.  Wrong.  Good.  It feels.  Good, Angel.  We haven't even kissed yet.  Really.  Huh?  So, it's all good.  Just.  We'll just kinda cuddle, right?  It was just the club--"

"The club.  Was wrong.  I shouldn't have forced you to go with me.  I'm.  Sorry.  I'm.  I shouldn't have taken this case."

"Angel.  It's OK."  Lean in a little.  Just.  A.  Little.  OK.  OK.  Easy.  "We're just, you know, trying to get over what happened to us.  Right?  Just a kiss or two.  Right?  Angel?  No big.  Just, you know, like this." OK.  Lean in.  He's...  There's fucking no where for you to go, Angel, with your back against the door!  Come.  ON!  "OK.  So, you know.  We're cool.  It's OK, Angel.  We'll just call it a night and I'll see you tomorrow, right?  And we'll just pretend this didn't happen, right?"

He wants.  Something.  Figure it out, C.  You can do this.  Remember.  "But, you know, Angel.  We can pretend a kiss or two didn't happen, too?"  Neck, C.  Just lean over.  Lightly.  Light.  Ly.  Gaspy thing.  OK.  Good.  Here.  Smooth out.  Erase kiss.  Another.  One.  Erase.  OK.  Good.  Erase.  Erase.

"Hm?"

OK.  Erasure good.  Just smooth.  Kiss.  Exhale.  Smooth. "Kiss me, Angel."  Let's see.  Here.  Closer.  Get your head out of my hair, Angel.  Kiss me.  Lunatic. "Angel.  Only as far as you want.  That's all.  You know.  Just to get over this."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Angel.  There was so much stuff going on at that club.  All those people.  All those Feeder vibes.  It wasn't you.  You were cool.  I'm used to you.  I see you everyday almost.  And this has never happened before.  Right?"  And it'll never happen again after tonight.  Just one night.  One.  Night.  And at this rate it'll be over before we do anything.

I'm so sorry.  Sorry."

Stop fucking apologizing, Angel!  "Angel, you don't have anything to apologize about, OK?"  At least if he's that sorry he's not going evil on my watch.

"I didn't want you to get hurt.  I hurt you."

"No.  Angel.  You didn't hurt me.  I'm not hurt.  See?" Here.  Shimmy the strap.  You can do this, Cordy.  You remember.  You...   OK.  We have strappage.  And he's ignoring it.  Angel.  Don't ignore the strap.  Grabby fingers again.  OK.  Good.  Be cool, C.  Just let him get back into it.  M's again.  OK.  OK.  "You can kiss me, Angel.  It won't hurt.  Just one or two.  Just one, even.  Just 'cause we're friends, Angel.  We're cool, OK?  Only as far as you want to go.  We can just do this.  OK?  But I--" Want.  No.  Need.  No.  Feel.  Way no.  "Think we're both a little, you know.  Like we just need, you know." Could you be any vaguer?  Here.  M him.  M his cheek.  Nice, non-committal little M right across his cheek.  Sealed with a breath.

"Hm?"

Resistance lowering.  M the other side.  Breath.  His nose.  Breath.  Cheek to softy cheek.  Across his jaw.  Down his yummy neck. When'd he scrub himself with my head?

"I.  Hm?  Want.  Don't let me.  Want."

"It's OK to want, Angel.  So we'll want a little and then we don't have to want any more.  Right?  For a long, long time."

"Never.  Stop.  Wanting.  Just.  Gets.  Worse."

Keep it together.  Control.  "You're wrong, Angel.  You can control it.  It's all about control, Angel.  We're strong, right?  Right?"

"You are."

"Yeah, Angel.  I am.  I'll be strong for both of us, OK?  Here.  Shhhhhhh.  Mmmmmmmmm.  Like that.  See?  Mmmmmmmmm.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  For both of us.  You trust me, right?"  Trust me.  Trust me.  Don't just feel me up, Angel.  C'mon.  Let's go inside.  "C'mon, Angel.  Come inside.  Only as far as you want.  OK?  Just tonight.  Alright?"

"Want."

"You want, Angel?  Hmmmm? Come on.  Let's go inside.  You want what?  A kiss?"

"Kiss.  Can't.  With you.  So wrong.  I'm so sorry.  I did.  This.  Don't let me want.  Cordelia.  Please?"

Can't stay out of my fucking hair.  Fuckit, C.  He's either gonna do this or not.  Here.  Little less subtle.  Moisture, Angel.  You...  feel...  OK.  Reaching.  Move in a little bit.  Your hands, Cordy.  On his...  where?  Do the grabby thing to him.  Here.  Do the...

"Hm?"

OK.  THAT worked.  Move one hand to his...  neck.  Stroke his neck.  Dig into that purple shirt and feel...  that...  fucking vampire thing he's doing.  OW!  Stay with him.  Feel him...  Kiss...  You.  Oh. My. God.  This is the most amazing kiss I've ever had in my life.  By a dead guy.  "Uhhhhhhhhh."  He doesn't care now, C.  "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh." Fuck me.  Who uses their mouth like this?  "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Dick just ripped.  Oh, man.  "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."  Kiss me.  Close your eyes, Angel.  Closing.  Eyes.  On my neck.  That mouth.   Can.  Work.  Me.   OHMIGOD.  Fuck, Angel.  Here.  Move his hand, Cordy. On my ass, Angel.  On my.  ASSSSSSS.  Shit.  Swallow, Cordy.  Breathe.  Here.  His waist.  Under.  Shirt.  Under.  Doughboy.  I want to.  What was he feeling.  Where his fingers.  They were...  "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh." You nasty son of a bitch, Angel.  Here.  I'ma ride that leg, bad boy.  Feel me.

"Hmmmmmmm?"

Give me your tongue.  Give me....   Oh, fuck.  This guy can fucking kiss...

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?"

Who knows how to use their tongue like this.  No drooly...  Don't black out again.  He's barely into it yet.  Move Angel.  Will he switch?  Switch with me, Angel.  Pin me against the door and rub that big ass dick up and down me.  Could it get any harder?  This mouth.  You're on your knees for me.  Head to toe, baby.  You're gonna fucking lick me from head to toe.

"Uhhhhhhhhhh." You feel me.  How wet I am.  All over your leg.  Taking this dress to the cleaners tomorrow.  Framing these fucking panties to remind my self who I fucking am.  Don't need no...  photo boy... "Ahhhhhhhh, Angel!  Uhhhhh!"  Fucking in my ear with that fucking tongue.  If he can swing his dick anything like he's using...  who uses their mouth like this.  Fucking dude can KISS!  Oh, hell yeah.  You suck blood you're eating me, you motherfucker.  The most gorgeous fucking guy in the world is gonna give me the best fuck of my life before I'm 21.  Oh. Yeaaaaaaah.  Penthouse Forum fuck.  I'm going to make your night so fucking miserable, Angel.  And you are gonna--  Definitely use a rubber.  Brand new pack.  You're not spurting whatever you spurt...  Shit probably causes cancer. "Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Oh.  Shhhhhh, Cordy.  Watch it.  Ladylike.  You almost lost him.  Slow down.  Let him catch up.  C'mon, Angel.  Stop with the Bionics. Speed up.

Wilson, who?  Oh, yeah.  He can just put his shit on pause.  After this one night the rest of these posers can stand the fuck back in line because Cordy Chase is back, girl.  And then--

"Oh.  Oh.  OH!"  --I'll hook up with Mr. Fucking IT and I'll get my life back and fucking Angel--  Shit.  He wouldn't like, talk or say anything?  Right?  Nah.  Be too punk ass to want Buffy to find out.  But still.  If he goes evil or possessive koo-koo or something-- "Mmmmmmmmmm."  That's OK.  It's OK.  I'll have Wesley. Wesley'll do.  What?  He'll protect my virtue.  He'll be, like, "Angel needs to be stopped before he romances any other beautiful young human females" and then...  Oh, yeah.  I'll totally make him believe it.  Whatever.  He'll go off and so, yeah.  No problem.

Work down, Angel.  Yeah.  Down.  Work it!  Shit.  Just pull the dress off my shoulders.  C'mon.  Go for me.  Go for me.  Out here.  Who the fuck cares who's watching.  This is the real deal here, boy.  Real shit.  C'mon.  Alright.  Whatever.  Work it through my dress.  I'm framing this dress, too.  Retired!  Good thing I didn't wear my velvet.  These fucking panties.  This dress.  These shoes... Fuck me.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Stay with it, C.  Fuck.  God he's working my ASSSSSS.  Fucking work me, Angel.  Move over.  Move it over.  Rip open this shirt and get to--

Smooooooooooooooooooooooooth.  One right here.  Kiss.  Right there.  That works.  That works!  Breath and one...  "Mmmmmmmmm.  Feels good, huh, Angel?  Feels good.  Shhhhhhhhhhh."  Let him.  Just let him.  Work your fucking neck.  Feel my tits, Angel.  Feel these.  Feel.  "Oooooooh!"  Shhhhhhhhhh.  Let him move you.  Where he wants you.  Move me, Angel.  Movey.  Stay in it.  "Stay with me, Angel.  Shhhhhhhh.  S'kay.  S'kay."  That one didn't scare him.  Scarey.  Let him have another, C.  Ok.  "Oh."  FUCK!  You wanted to be against the door.  Ravage me, motherfucker!  Control it, C.

Where'd you go?  Here.  Here.  Stay here, Cordy.  "Let's go inside, Angel.  Take me inside.  Take me.  Inside.  Take."  Swallow.  Swallow.  Breathe.  OK.  OK.  Back in focus.  Don't back away, Angel.  Lemme rub.  You rub.  Rub.  Rub.  Like that.  Like that.  Oh, yeah.  Arms above my head works.  You know.  You know, Angel.  "Not so rough.  Angel!  OK.  OK.  Like.  That.  Like."  Fucking follows commands!  Tell him, C.  Tell him.  "Closer."  'K.  "Cover me, Angel."  Move that huge ass body--  He gets warm!  Ohmigod.  He's so warm.  Hard.  Smooth.  Smells.  Nice.  Soapy.  Tastes.  Clean.  Warm.  Soft hair.  Soft lips. Twisty ears.  Softy.  Neck.  Pudgey tum.  Yum!  Floaty.  Not too many, C.  Slow down.  Dance on me.  "Dance for me, Angel.  Dance for."  Me.  Like that.

"Too far?"

"Nuh-uh.  Not yet.  Let's go inside."  Who cares.  Fuck me against this door. Raise my dress.  Raisey.  Feel him.  Feeley.  Buttoney.  Inside button.  Viscose?  Silky.  He likes...  That.  Yeah.  "That, Angel.  That."  One more.  Here.  He.  Knew.  He.  Knows.  Let him.

"Going too far, Cordelia.  Too.  Make me stop."

"Go inside, Angel."  Here.  Wrap my arms...  Don't stop!  "Don't stop, Angel.  Here."  Fingertips floaty thingie on my neckie hairy thingie fingies hairy throaty kissy kissy kissy throaty yes yes yes down down touchy touchy floaty floaty floaty floaty--

Groany?  GROANY!

What the--  Oh, no he did not!  He did not just do that groany sound.  Undead and he makes the motherfucking oh-yeah-ahma-bout-to-hit-it groany sound.  You motherfucker!  You aren't even--  "Off me!  GET OFF ME, Angel!  GET OFF--"

"Hm?"

"What was that shit?  What was that?"

"I... Cordelia.  I..."

"Your shit is soooo tired, Angel.  You need to move it along."  Confused as shit.  You fucking confused-ass...  "Angel.  I mean it.  There is NOTHING happening here.  Take your dead ass home and do whatever you need to do, but I deserve alot better than whatever you think you have to offer."

Right on, Dennis! Slam the door. Imaginary high five! Wipe your hands.  Walk away, horny as hell but, you can--  Said your name.  He said Cordelia.  He said your--  Called me Cordelia.  Right before the groany--  Cor--  No.  Shit!  During the--  Who knew girls could make that sound?

"Shit!"  He's driving away.  Angel.  Shit.  Shit.  "Shit, Dennis.  You let him go.  It wasn't his fault, Dennis!  Shit.  Shit.  Ok.  Focus, Cordy.  You weren't gonna do this anymore, remember?  Came to L.A.  Gonna start over and be nice and...  Shit!  Payback again!"  Oh, man.  Focus.  "He's gonna remember all of this.  When?  When?  DENNIS!  DON'T LET ME DO THIS STUFF ANYMORE, YOU HEAR ME?"  Hold it together, C.  CORDY!  "C'mon.  Think.  Be nice.  Stop crying."  Stopit!  "OK.  I did this.  I did this.  I did this.  I--"  Stopit!  "Stop shaking.  OK.  Set up.  He was fucking set up.  Shit!  OK.  OK.  Think.  Remember.  OK.  Kimmy.  Stop crying!"  Stopit!  "If you hurt him...  You hurt him, Cordy--  Hurt him.  Shit!  OK.  How--  Wesley!  Wesley'll help.  OK.  OK.  Speedy dialing and...  Pick up.  Pick up.  Stop crying.  Pick up!  Pick up!  You have no life, Wesley.  I know you're there.  Pick up.  Pick--"

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